Recently, I noticed some strange behaviour on the interweb
So strange, it warrants an intervention!
Now normally, if someone told you this, you would think it was a prank. Perhaps April first. Perhaps someone you know is a constant joker. But no, this is totally legit, although a bit unbelievable.
You see, I saw some commenting in a self assured, secure, and confident manner. They seemed to be lacking any desire to prove themselves right, or to argue and defeat others in tournaments of Facebook Joust.
I was at a loss to explain this whole person behaviour. Perhaps they had suffered a loving and trauma-free childhood with no demons to overcome. We'll never know. However, on behalf of the rest of us, I felt I should give some tips on how to be insecure, or more correctly, how to spend your life trying to compensate for it.
1. Be offended if someone does something differently to you.
It doesn't matter if the outcome is the same. Or even better. It is important to know that things that are different to how you would do it, are wrong.
2. Try to be richer than others.
This is one of the best ways to be very insecure. The more insecure you are, the more you should try and earn and the more wealth you should create. For extra points, post surreptitious photos sneakily showing your in seat 1A on the plane, or sitting in your posh car.
3. Assume dentistry in your country is the best.
Not only this, but assume your own regulator is the role model for the rest of the world. For extra points, tell people in other countries they would get in trouble with your regulator (but only in a case that you don't like. Make sure you complain bitterly about your regulator on your own country based forums).
4. Win arguments.
Obviously, if other people were as smart as you, they would think the same as you. The only reason they don't is because they aren't so smart. Keep arguing with them, with increasingly personal attacks, until they agree with you.
5. Have the last word.
No matter how many rejoinders you've had so far, make sure you keep replying until the other person tires and goes and has some dinner and talks to someone they actually care about.
6. Start a forum and ask friends to add people so it reaches 40000 members in less than two years.
I personally found this one to my liking. It hasn't made me any more whole as a person, but the pursuit of some material achievement to compensate for childhood traumas was enjoyable along the way. 
😀
7. Be a moral crusader.
It is obvious that you have significantly superior morality, ethics and righteousness than others. It is only fair to others that you constantly remind them of this inherent superiority. In particular, use this technique in conjunction to rule number one.
Follow this advice and you are well on the way to overcoming your inherent sense of self worth and inner security.
If you found this a lot of nonsense, please share and like. Feel free to add some more tips on how to be insecure in the comments below. If you feel you are an expert in all seven areas, type BINGO. You get a prize. 😀
